Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
