I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
