just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
