Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
