And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize