you guys were way drunker than both of me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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