I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
