Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
