Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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