sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
