he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
