She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
