fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize