I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
