So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
