My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it was like eating out sand paper
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
