Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the high leading the old right now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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