we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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