piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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