I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
ok first of all what the fuck
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
