i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
