is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
