I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
