Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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