I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
