Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
