are you still at the devil's house?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
