happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I cut my penus on the lid.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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