Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
