at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
