i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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