Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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