So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
