I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
