youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
