i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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