That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
