Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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