In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will be naked everywhere
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
