Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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