It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
