Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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