And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
