Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
