did you get engaged???
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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