I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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