Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize