So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
