im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize