Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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