just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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