I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
