I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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