so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My breasts were aching with rage.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
