That's intense
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
