; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize