it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
