i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
