The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
