Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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